Couple sits on couch facing in opposite directions. The man on the left has his hands in his lap while looking down and the woman has her arms crossed looking away.

How To Tell Your Spouse You Want A Divorce

Once you’ve concluded that you want a divorce, the next step is bringing it up to your spouse. But, how? This is a big conversation to have, and you want to make sure you go about it in the best way possible. Let’s go over some tips for when, where, and how to approach the topic of divorce with your spouse.

Choose the right time and place

The first thing you should think about is when and where you’ll bring up divorce. Choose a location where you are comfortable having this discussion. That may be in the privacy of your home, a local park, or even a restaurant.

Try to avoid this conversation occurring at the same time as another life event. For example, if you or your spouse is experiencing a stressful time at work, hold off on bringing up divorce if possible. Furthermore, make sure to never have this conversation while your children are around.

Plan Ahead

Take some time beforehand to plan what you want to say and how you want to say it. Writing down your thoughts can also help you stay organized and keep the conversation on track.

While an in-person conversation is most preferred, your attorney or counselor may suggest another option for communication, such as video, writing, or an audio recording. These planning strategies will help prevent you from acting out of emotion or saying things you don’t mean.

Be Clear

Clearly and calmly state that you want a divorce. Don’t leave room for confusion.

It can be a good idea to emphasize that:

  • You have really thought this through and have your mind made up
  • You want to stay civil and continue having a good relationship if possible
  • You want to discuss the next steps

While it is essential to be direct, it is also vital to be compassionate. The tone of this conversation can help set the tone for the trajectory of your divorce process and co-parenting relationship.

Be Prepared To Listen

After bringing up a divorce, your spouse may have a lot to say. Be ready to listen and hear their feelings willingly. If things become tense, try not to become defensive. Give your spouse time to process this information. However, most importantly, make your safety and security your top priority. Due to the pandemic, the past year has seen a rise in domestic violence cases which can influence the divorce process. Discuss with your attorney first if you have even the slightest concern about this situation turning violent, even if there hasn’t been a history of violence in the past.

Contact An Attorney

After you have come to the conclusion that you want a divorce it may be wise to simply consult with a lawyer so you have an understanding of what you can expect from the process. You are not required to hire an attorney but do yourself a favor and at least consult with a knowledgeable attorney who can provide you with information to help protect your best interests during the divorce proceedings. Contact Myres & Associates today at (713) 322-9810 to set up a consultation with our Houston divorce lawyers.