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Picking Up the Pieces After High-Conflict Divorce

People don’t get married with the intent to end up in family court. However, life doesn’t always go as planned; furthermore, the people we marry aren’t always who we thought they would be. While divorce, in general, is not a pleasant experience for individuals involved, sometimes people can make the separation more difficult through their high conflict personalities.

Going through a high conflict divorce presents unique challenges. When people engage with high conflict behaviors and ways of thinking, such as blaming everyone else or having emotional outbursts, the way separation occurs is impacted. However, there are ways to heal after a high conflict divorce, and Myres & Associates can help explain.

1. Leave the Past in the Past

While there may have been a preconceived notion of how this relationship should have gone, it is essential to acknowledge that the unexpected can happen. This is why it is important to give yourself the time and space necessary to grieve the end of the marriage appropriately. When you grieve, you can process the fact that the relationship did not go how you wanted it to, processing any feelings of sadness that arise.

In order to acknowledge the past and move on, you can engage in mindfulness exercises that ground you in the present. Instead of ruminating and remaining in the past, you can channel your energy into the present moment. Activities such as taking deep meditative breaths or journaling can go a long way in grounding yourself.

You can also learn from your past experiences and relationships, gaining a new understanding of what you deserve in a relationship.

2. Work Through Your Issues

After acknowledging what you went through and leaving it in the past, it is vital to work through your own remaining issues from the high conflict divorce. Therapy with a licensed professional is critical in the process of healing, especially if the separation was volatile. Your therapist can work with you on defining appropriate relationship boundaries, as well as rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem.

When searching for a therapist, you can specify that you would like to work with someone experienced in high conflict behaviors and personalities. This way, your therapist will have expertise in your exact situation.

3. Create a Personal Care Plan

Once the divorce process is over, your life will feel completely different. You may have more time on your hands and not know what to do with it. After you finalize the divorce, work to create a care plan for yourself to kickstart your healing process. In this plan, you can include intentions for therapy, self-care strategies, or even ideas for new activities that you would like to try. View this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and reconnect with hobbies that you may have lost since marriage.

4. Reach Out to Family and Friends

While all of the above strategies will help you in your healing process, you should not go through it alone. Rely on family, friends, and faith during this time to establish a strong support network. Let them know what you are going through so they are well informed and give you the comfort you need. Faith can provide a greater sense of community and support, promoting healing.

If you struggle with keeping in contact with individuals, set aside specific times to communicate with others each week. While a therapist is helpful for processing emotions, your family and friends will be there for you when you need it most.

Contact a Houston Divorce Attorney

If you or someone you know is going through a high conflict divorce, know that Myres & Associates is there to help through the process. We understand that these conflicts might feel impossible to navigate, but our experienced attorneys will advocate for your side compassionately. We are well versed in high conflict management and have strategies to help negotiate when tensions arise.


To speak with one of our attorneys, call (713) 322-9810 to schedule a consultation today!