Conflicts are an inevitable part of our lives. However, there are points in our lives where conflict is more apparent than others. During a divorce, high conflict individuals can make the process much more difficult. Myres & Associates can help you navigate your family law matters today using the BIFF method by Bill Eddy to combat high conflict people. The entire team at Myres & Associates ascribes to the tools suggested by Bill.
What Is a High Conflict Person
According to Bill Eddy, a lawyer, therapist, and mediator who developed high conflict personality theory, a high conflict person engages with recurring patterns of behavior that encourage conflict rather than attempting to resolve it. High conflict people typically engage with these behavior patterns repetitively, behaving this way in many of their relationships. Common patterns of behavior include:
- Blaming others
- All-or-nothing thinking
- Unmanaged emotions
- Extreme behaviors
While it may seem impossible to navigate conflicts with these individuals, there are methods for conversations, namely the BIFF method.
The BIFF Method
Eddy’s BIFF method stands for brief, informative, friendly, and firm. This method of communication will help you effectively communicate with high-conflict individuals in times like divorce. Further explanation of each step in the method is below.
- Brief: Keep all of your communication short and to the point with the other individual. Ensure that you include the most critical pieces of information and all of the facts.
- Informative: Stick to an informative approach when communicating with the high conflict person. Avoid including emotions or opinions, which are easily misconstrued.
- Friendly: While you may be experiencing many negative emotions, try to remain as friendly as possible with the other individual. For example, you can include warm greetings in all of your communication.
- Firm: Don’t allow the high conflict person to take control of the conversation. Instead, rely on firm and brief communication. If at all possible, let your message be the final part of the conversation.
Contact a Houston Divorce Attorney
If you or someone you know is involved in a high conflict divorce, Myres & Associates can help navigate the process. We are well versed in high conflict management and can help you utilize the BIFF method to reach the settlement you deserve.
To speak with one of our attorneys, call (713) 322-9810 to schedule a consultation today!